He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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