What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
