i don't plan on having that self control this summer
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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