Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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