i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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