After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
His hands were made for my vagina.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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