There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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