he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We just shotgunned beers for America
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Alive.
So much puke
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
