Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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