This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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