No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
