I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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