420 ftw
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
