just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
