ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
