dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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