He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
