There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
