Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
