I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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