Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
