So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
