please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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