Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize