Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
