So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
