I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
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After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
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The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
My feet surprised me
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