So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
