I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize