I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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