Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
