I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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