A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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