i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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