I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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