I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I could fuck to npr.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
