Don't you send me to vm
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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