I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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