Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
