I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize