He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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