She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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