In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
