David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
