Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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