So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Terrible idea I love it
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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