Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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