Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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