Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
