I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
