addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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