if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Actions speak louder than pants.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
