eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
high people should be assigned attendants
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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