Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
