i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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