You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
